FANDOM


Needs cleanup.

This page has some issues, but currently can't be edited. Any way around this? Bandit1178 (talk) 04:44, November 2, 2015 (UTC)

Um, cleanup? How so? --A Tiny Horse (talk) 13:55, November 2, 2015 (UTC)
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"SOMA is a horror game developed by Frictional Games in the H.P. Lovecraft Engine 3, it's been in development since 2010..."   Run-on sentence. Should read: "...Engine 3. It's been..." Also, "the H.P. Lovecraft Engine 3" doesn't sound right.
"The game is set in the future in an era where machines are developing human traits, meanwhile isolation and decay bears down on the staff of the remote research facility."   Run-on sentence. Should read: "...human traits. Meanwhile, isolation..." Also, "bears" should be "bear".
"Most of the staff start going missing while surrounded by machines looking for them, including you."   Awkward wording, and Simon is neither part of the staff nor missing. Suggested rewrite: "Most of the staff go missing and are hunted by machines."
Minor errors, but since they're on the front page of the wiki, fixing them would be beneficial.   Bandit1178 (talk) 14:44, November 2, 2015 (UTC)
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I believe the staff is not "hunted" by machines. Some mockinbirds may have an unstable and dangerous behavior, but they're not necessary hunters.
H.P. Lovercraft Engine 3 is the official name of the game engine, right?
Good point about "hunted". I used that word to replace the awkward-sounding "machines looking for them", but you're right. What about: "most of the staff go missing and are surrounded by unstable machines"?
That is the engine's name, but the word "the" usually shouldn't come before a proper noun.   Bandit1178 (talk) 15:22, November 2, 2015 (UTC)
I've disabled protection on this page for the time being, feel free to edit/correct it. --A Tiny Horse (talk) 16:54, November 2, 2015 (UTC)
I cutted this paragraph  "most of the staff go missing and are surrounded by unstable machines". First, what's a unstable machine? A defective microwave owen? Seconda, i think it's unecessary. It's just an introduction, it's not necessary to specify anything. Actually, it's better to mantain  a mystery atmosphere. (Pimposo (talk))

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